تو بهترین اتفاق این روزهایی

چه خوبه که هستی

جه خوبه که دارمت

💕

 

مامی پیر شده

از مدل حرف زدنش این و حس کردم

دیگه مثل قبل تیز نیست

 می دونم طبیعیه اما خیلی تلخه 

...

 I keep the sunshine pages ...

 

 

Motherhood and those hard moments

This shall pass... and I am still learning ...  

 

Last night 

you were in my dreams all night

and I missed you like old days, 

yet, I didn't tell you....

 

Traveling

RV

Friends

Fire

BBQ

Drink

Laughing 

Yet 

...

Happy I am back home💖

 

Finally, I am here ... I am enough ...💖

 

روز ها تند تند میان و می گذرن 

روزها بیاین  اما بمونین  اینقدر زود نگذرین

   

من هنوز کلی چیز دلم می خواد

 

One day 

I will forget...

But 

I will NEVER forgive 

... NEVER deserve to have a family !

NEVER!

 

Belonging  ...

 

One of the basic needs of humans (other than food and shelter) is the need to feel loved and like we belong. Belonging in the sense that we feel connected and accepted ....

 

 

Me and my new chapter ...

Hard Days Will Come, But I Will NOT Lose Myself

 

Hard days will come—that is certain. Change brings pain, uncertainty, and moments of doubt. But no matter how difficult the road ahead, I will NOT lose myself.

I will NOT drown in sadness or fear. I will not let heartbreak define me. I will allow myself to feel, to grieve, but I will also remind myself: I am still here. I am still standing. I am still capable of healing and rebuilding.

Grief may visit, but it will not consume me.
Fear may whisper, but it will not control me.
Memories may flood in uninvited, but I will not live in the past.

I am more than who I was before. I am becoming stronger, wiser, and braver. A brighter future awaits me, and I will step into it—one day at a time.

Every hard day will pass. Old, bitter memories will fade, making space for new, beautiful ones. Peace will come. Healing will come. And soon, I will no longer measure my worth through someone else’s eyes.

This is NOT the end. This is just a transition. And beyond this pain, there is peace, hope, and a future waiting for me.

I will hold on to that.
I will keep moving forward.

 

I had a lovely evening with two dear friends last night

opening up about my vulnerability and pain, 

and feeling deeply grateful for their empathy, love, and support. 

I look forward to the day, hopefully not too far from now, when I can raise a glass and share my happiness with them instead...

 

The past is behind me,  

the pain, 

the mistakes,

the unanswered questions, 

I have carried them long enough, but now

I choose to set them down.

Today, I close this chapter, not with regret, but with gratitude for the lessons that shaped me.

i am not looking back.

I am stepping forward - towards the life I have always deserved...

A fresh start , a new beginning, 

and a future that truly is mine.

Here is to strength, to growth, and to finally choosing myself. 

    

 

A Family Day to Remember

Today is Family Day, what a coincidence!!

After weeks of deep reflection, this morning, I finally made a life-changing decision — 

a turning point for the sake of my emotional and mental well-being. 

After 25 years ... !!

         It wasn’t easy at all, but I know it’s the right step forward.

This Family Day will be one I’ll NEVER forget.

But more than anything, I hope that one day, I’ll have a family with whom I can truly cherish the meaning and beauty of togetherness.

...

 

The past couple of days have been unbearably painful and heartbreaking.
It feels like I was suddenly pushed off a cliff. I had sensed some signs that things weren’t quite right lately, but never to this extent. The pain is far deeper than I ever imagined - especially when it blindsides you.
After going this far, at this stage in life… it’s hard to process.

I wish I could go into hibernation for a whole year - just sleep through the storm and wake up when the dust has settled, when I’ve made it through the hardest chapter of my life, and when this unexpected trauma is finally behind me...

 

Where I am gonna be in my life next year at this moment ...

How I am gonna feel ...

 " Automat" By Edward Hopper in 1927

These days are hard, stretching long and cold, leaving me drained, hurt, and tired. They steal my energy, bruise my spirit, and leave me searching for warmth.

I crave the quiet—just a moment to be alone, far from whatever drain my strength, test my patience, and dim the light in me.

I dream of being surrounded by souls of depth and grace, with high standards and hearts full of kindness. 

I feel adrift, lost in the storm of my struggles.

I need a pause, a reprieve—a breath of something good. I long for love, care, and the gentle spark of happiness to remind me that life still holds meaning waiting to be unfolded...

 

Bittersweet

There’s no other word for it.

After more than 20 years, this is where I’ve landed… A place of disappointment, of solitude.

Yet here I am, holding on, not because it’s easy, but because I know I deserve more. I have to keep going, if only for the promise of my own happiness.

It’s one of those moments when I feel ‘I didn’t deserve this…’ filled to the brim with love and care, but people... oh, people — they disappoint.

To soothe my heart, I searched through the past, hoping to find even a sliver of comfort, a reminder that I was once loved. And then I found it — your voice from last April…

God, how much I needed to hear those words again...

 مردهای زندگی من تو زرد از اب در اومدن!!د