I hope one day - not so far away - I will come and write this in here

 with my heart filled with joy ...

 

My peace

my health

my boundaries

my family 

my future

 

Disappointment

I am really disappointment of ppl ...

self-centered

 so called friends! 

....

I think it is time to clear space of those no longer fits in my life...

I am posting this in here just as a reminder for myself, cos you deserve better ...  

 

 

Sometimes memories rise up without warning.

A scene in a movie… a familiar silence… a moment where a woman speaks, but her voice isn’t heard. And suddenly I’m taken back to the times when I lived inside that silence myself—when I wasn’t listened to, when the blame fell on me without a word spoken, when my feelings were invisible.

 Those memories used to hurt.

Now they teach me.

They remind me why choosing separation was an act of self-respect, not loss. A moment of reclaiming my voice after years of being silenced. A step toward a life where I no longer have to shrink myself to keep the peace, or carry the weight of someone else’s unhappiness.

Today, when those old memories surface, I no longer feel trapped.

I feel grateful.

Grateful that I walked away from a place where I wasn’t heard.

Grateful that I no longer have to tolerate the coldness of being blamed for things that were never mine to carry.

Grateful that I am building a life where my feelings matter, where my voice is allowed to exist, where calm is no longer something I have to fight for.

This separation wasn’t the end of something good.

It was the beginning of something kinder.

 

A beginning where I finally choose myself

 

تو را می خواهم برای 50 سالگی

برای 60 سالگی

برای 70 سالگی

تو را می خواهم برای خانه ای که در ان تنهاییم

تو را می خواهم برای چای عصرانه

برای تلقنهایی که زنگ می زنند و ما جواب نمی دهیم

تو را می خواهم برای تنهایی

تو را می خواهم برای وقتی که باران است

برای قدم زدنهای اهسته دو تایی

برای نیمکتهای پارکهای شهر

تو را می خواهم برای صبح

برای ظهر

برای شب

تو را می خواهم برای همه عمر ...

 

 

تو بهترین اتفاق این روزهایی

چه خوبه که هستی

جه خوبه که دارمت

💕

 

مامی پیر شده

از مدل حرف زدنش این و حس کردم

دیگه مثل قبل تیز نیست

 می دونم طبیعیه اما خیلی تلخه 

...

 I keep the sunshine pages ...

 

 

Motherhood and those hard moments

This shall pass... and I am still learning ...  

 

Last night 

you were in my dreams all night

and I missed you like old days, 

yet, I didn't tell you....

 

Traveling

RV

Friends

Fire

BBQ

Drink

Laughing 

Yet 

...

Happy I am back home💖

 

Finally, I am here ... I am enough ...💖

 

روز ها تند تند میان و می گذرن 

روزها بیاین  اما بمونین  اینقدر زود نگذرین

   

من هنوز کلی چیز دلم می خواد

 

One day 

I will forget...

But 

I will NEVER forgive 

... NEVER deserve to have a family !

NEVER!

 

Belonging  ...

 

One of the basic needs of humans (other than food and shelter) is the need to feel loved and like we belong. Belonging in the sense that we feel connected and accepted ....

 

 

Me and my new chapter ...

Hard Days Will Come, But I Will NOT Lose Myself

 

Hard days will come—that is certain. Change brings pain, uncertainty, and moments of doubt. But no matter how difficult the road ahead, I will NOT lose myself.

I will NOT drown in sadness or fear. I will not let heartbreak define me. I will allow myself to feel, to grieve, but I will also remind myself: I am still here. I am still standing. I am still capable of healing and rebuilding.

Grief may visit, but it will not consume me.
Fear may whisper, but it will not control me.
Memories may flood in uninvited, but I will not live in the past.

I am more than who I was before. I am becoming stronger, wiser, and braver. A brighter future awaits me, and I will step into it—one day at a time.

Every hard day will pass. Old, bitter memories will fade, making space for new, beautiful ones. Peace will come. Healing will come. And soon, I will no longer measure my worth through someone else’s eyes.

This is NOT the end. This is just a transition. And beyond this pain, there is peace, hope, and a future waiting for me.

I will hold on to that.
I will keep moving forward.

 

I had a lovely evening with two dear friends last night

opening up about my vulnerability and pain, 

and feeling deeply grateful for their empathy, love, and support. 

I look forward to the day, hopefully not too far from now, when I can raise a glass and share my happiness with them instead...

 

The past is behind me,  

the pain, 

the mistakes,

the unanswered questions, 

I have carried them long enough, but now

I choose to set them down.

Today, I close this chapter, not with regret, but with gratitude for the lessons that shaped me.

i am not looking back.

I am stepping forward - towards the life I have always deserved...

A fresh start , a new beginning, 

and a future that truly is mine.

Here is to strength, to growth, and to finally choosing myself.