" Automat" By Edward Hopper in 1927

These days are hard, stretching long and cold, leaving me drained, hurt, and tired. They steal my energy, bruise my spirit, and leave me searching for warmth.

I crave the quiet—just a moment to be alone, far from whatever drain my strength, test my patience, and dim the light in me.

I dream of being surrounded by souls of depth and grace, with high standards and hearts full of kindness. 

I feel adrift, lost in the storm of my struggles.

I need a pause, a reprieve—a breath of something good. I long for love, care, and the gentle spark of happiness to remind me that life still holds meaning waiting to be unfolded...

 

Bittersweet

There’s no other word for it.

After more than 20 years, this is where I’ve landed… A place of disappointment, of solitude.

Yet here I am, holding on, not because it’s easy, but because I know I deserve more. I have to keep going, if only for the promise of my own happiness.

It’s one of those moments when I feel ‘I didn’t deserve this…’ filled to the brim with love and care, but people... oh, people — they disappoint.

To soothe my heart, I searched through the past, hoping to find even a sliver of comfort, a reminder that I was once loved. And then I found it — your voice from last April…

God, how much I needed to hear those words again...

 مردهای زندگی من تو زرد از اب در اومدن!!د