November 11, 2024

 


Bittersweet

There’s no other word for it.

After more than 20 years, this is where I’ve landed… A place of disappointment, of solitude.

Yet here I am, holding on, not because it’s easy, but because I know I deserve more. I have to keep going, if only for the promise of my own happiness.

It’s one of those moments when I feel ‘I didn’t deserve this…’ filled to the brim with love and care, but people... oh, people — they disappoint.

To soothe my heart, I searched through the past, hoping to find even a sliver of comfort, a reminder that I was once loved. And then I found it — your voice from last April…

God, how much I needed to hear those words again...


2 comments:

سطرهای پنهانی said...

I missed to be loved like that, I missed those kind, loving words. I missed that peaceful smile trying to calm me down with no words...

سطرهای پنهانی said...

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
...
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
...
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers"

By Stanley Kunitz